Saturday, April 7, 2007

inca un pic de trend si antitrend (si evident, trenul antitrendist), anticorporation for fuck's sake. maybe i am a true punk deep down. fu**.i k nu.mi dadusem seama pana acu. asta e un titlu lung. =))


toti vor sa fie destepti.. si originali. the new corporate e "uniunea scriitorilor adolescenti care fac si poze geniale, si care (asa ca leibniz, kre era filozof, da cand statea p veceu mai scria o teorema la mate) canta in "timpu liber" la chitara". si eu m.am plictisit de originaliatea lor liniara, patetica, minimalistii dreaqului, pui de balena ce sunt.
dar sa nu deviem de la subiect.. mai bine aleg sa fiu proasta.. in genu trainspotting: "i choose not to choose life".. vba aia prostii sunt mai fericiti nu?


adevaru e acum k si eu si prietenii mei cam facem parte din categoria asta: scriem romane, incercari literare pe bloguri obscure, facem poze,avem (aveti :)) ) pagini de dev cu mulet favuri, ne incaltam toti in sk8 shuz si tenesi si hopa pe motoare...si ce ne facem atunci? "vedem paiu din ochii altora, dar nu vedem barna din ai nostri"? sau suntem un fel de "noua dreapta, care e stramba".. a.k.a. noi suntem cei adevarati, si tari, si care detinem substanta tuturor lucrurilor, si numai noi am ajuns la the core of universe..



autocritica mi se pare buna.



to be continued... and answered (by csi ;;))

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acum, vreau sa zic altceva. azi, pt prima oara am inteles cu adevarat cat de cruda a fost faza dintr.a 9a cu pervazul..prin comparatia pe care am zis.o ieri intre T si bogdan.. si mi.am mai adus aminte de inca o faza... care m.a facut sa inteleg mai bine cum te simteai u...:(

~odata jucam adevar si provocare, si erai si tu si ana, si luca si mai multi si evident si bogdan. si luca m.a intrebat "e adevarat k iti place de bogdan?"~

si da, this is actually a written apology..>:D<

and now, everyone should hail to the all mighy csi, for her ability of touching her nose with her tongue :D

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Lazyness

I find myself incapable of writing in this blog frequently.

Why?

I'm too lazy to do that.
I've been too lazy to do...anything these past days. It's rather depressing. The constant desire to do things, to socialize, to be special to build 7 foot tall imperial cruiser...buuut...you just dont feel like it at the moment.
Ah..lets face it, I'll never be a genious person or someone special, I want to be, but I'm not. The right words never come out. Take this post for example, I had this very... interesting ideeas about how it will turn out and...at it's end...it sounds like crap, it doesn't sound at all like what I would want to express.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

Because I'm lazy? Because I lack perseverence, will, passion...illegal substances
Or ..yet again...I'm just too obssesed about someone watching me. I shouldn't..its stupid. But I am. Fuck.

I'm tired. So fucking tired. Of everything. I cant sleep. I cant wake up propely either. I'm always somewhere in the middle, annoyed, sad, 'special'..but no intend in DOING something about it.
Because it doesn't matter. In my 16 year-old study of life I have discovered that no matter how much you can shout at someone, they will never hear or understand you...unless its something they want to here. You shout, you cry, you laugh, you sip a coffee with fucking insanity, they DO NOT LISTEN. And after that you're being told that you weren't a good enough friend. Kewl. No, I am no exeption (dont forget, I'm not special) but at least I have my moment when I fucking admit it.

But still...the shouting and the crying and the laughing and the coffee are part of life, and you're better off with it than without it...without it you'd die of boredom...like yours trully is doing in this particular moment.

I suck.

:)

I leave you with...TOOL :D

The Patient

A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.



But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.



Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out).



If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through.This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.



If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.



And I still may .. ... I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.



And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.



Gonna wait it out.

*applause from the voices in my head*